Create the relationship of your dreams 2 of 7 - Identifying and Overcoming Gaslighting During or After a Relationship

Identifying and Overcoming Gaslighting During or After a Relationship

Gaslighting. An odd term that can be defined as a type of emotional abuse which may appear in abusive relationships. Typically, the sufferer is being manipulated through forcing the individual to question their memories, thoughts and also events that are happening around them. When this happens, the victim would get pushed so far and one would then tend to question one’s sanity.

In case you wonder why it is referred to as “gaslighting” - this term was derived from a play and movie called “Gaslight.” Spoiler alert, the scheming husband would often manipulate his wife into making her believe that she’s going crazy.

In whatever way gaslighting is done, it may be intentional or not, it may occur more often than you might think. Apart from relationships, this can also happen among friendships, parents, and bosses. You might have even experienced this yourself.

How can you identify the signs of gaslighting in your life or those around you? 

It might appear that the victim may feel like he or she is no longer the same person 

1. One could be constantly blaming themselves when there are things that are going wrong. 

2. Being too apologetic, making excuses for the behavior of the partner, isolation from family and friends 

3. Moreover, you also constantly wonder if you are just feeling too sensitive over petty issues. You would also take notice that you are becoming more anxious and you have less self-confidence now than before.

Gaslighting may appear subtle at times, but if you feel that this is happening more often and you are certainly not feeling good about it, then there can be a problem with how you are being treated by your partner or the people around you.

What you can do to help

Firstly, admitting that you are becoming a victim of gaslighting in your relationship is the first step in order for you to get the right help that you need. Easier said than done. It is a difficult process so we suggest that you consult with a therapist because it may not be apparent at first. Through talking to the right person, you will be assisted in sorting your doubts and fears. You will also have a better understanding of the realities around you. Plus, you will have an understanding on how you can manage your doubts as well as your anxiety by being coached on using the right coping mechanisms.

As mentioned, it can be a difficult process. A victim of gaslighting may have their sense of self collapse around them, and finding out what really happened can also take some time. It would also take time to release such guilt and shame that she has on herself and be able to feel whole again. However, the benefits of having a good therapist is that victims won’t be suffering alone. Guidance and support through every step is vital and also makes things less scary. 

As a victim of gaslighting, it might be noticeable that you’ll doubt your very own judgement. One may also struggle to begin finding trust in future relationships. Due to such fear of trusting another person, one runs the risk of ending future relationships because of the anticipation of more trauma arising. This highlights the importance of seeking help. Not just for the individual, but for the people around them and also, their future relationships.

So, what exact help would you look for?

Well, that depends. In order to change one’s thinking, it would be beneficial to see a hypnotherapist who could guide you in shining a light on these particular issues. When this happens, one would achieve a better perception of themselves by getting a better understanding of their lives and what revolves around them.

Unlike traditional medicinal practices, a hypnotherapist may use hypnosis and NLP coaching so that you will be more mindful of what is happening in your subconscious mind. You’ll accurately be unravelling past trauma which is far more sustainable than a standard prescription. Hypnosis in talk therapy is often the method of choice when it comes to restoring the person’s self-image and also in strengthening one’s ego, and making the victim become more assertive with their lives. This will also help the victim to think about choosing not to be hurt by the gaslighter anymore.

Looking for help can be difficult. It might help by simply learning more through an initial consultation. To find out about how exactly hypnotherapy practices can help you or someone who is suffering from gaslighting, please contact ...