Feeling the pain.
If you have parted ways with the love of your life, you are probably thinking that it is the most painful thing that has ever happened to you. Of course, there are many worse things that can happen to one, but when you are going through a breakup, nothing else seems to matter except the pain that you feel.
You may have had an inkling that something in the relationship was a bit off, but when it came to a head, the first thing you might have felt is shock that it has actually happened to you. After shock and disbelief, the pain of the breakup will set in, along with some confusion as to why it happened at all. Nothing seems to make any sense, and the pain can be physical, mental, emotional, completely overwhelming, and never goes away.
According to researchers, an unexpected breakup may have a dramatic impact physically, resulting in what is known as a broken heart syndrome, leading to possible chest pains, and shortness of breath. All this is perfectly normal and with time, these initial feelings will pass.
Expressing your anger.
In the beginning of the breakup, you may find it difficult to accept the fact that you and the love of your life are no longer together. In your heart, you may secretly hope that a reconciliation may yet take place. However, when it becomes apparent that the relationship cannot be saved, you could be overtaken by fierce feelings of anger.
You may want to lash out at everyone and everything - including yourself. These overpowering feelings of anger, could threaten to swamp your life, and leave you experiencing even more distress. Instead of trying to suppress the anger, experts agree that embracing your anger will be the first step in getting power to begin the healing process of overcoming the pain. Studies have shown that anger is part of the psyche’s defence action against the pain you are going through.
Letting go.
Once you have started the healing process, the only emotion which you may not have really experienced is grief. Grief can enable you to look back and see that the relationship was not as perfect as you thought it was, and acknowledge the fact that there were flaws that you did not see, or want to see!
You might also begin to realise that grief allows you to feel more liberated, as you begin to let go of the past, and move on to new areas of your life.
Helping you to let go.
Letting go of the past is never easy. Some folk can cope on their own, but not everyone is the same. Harmful thoughts and negative feelings may linger in their minds of those who are struggling – thoughts which cause anxiety when they break into the surface of the conscious mind.
If this is you, a competent, experienced therapist, will be able to access the subconscious mind, and help you to identify and eliminate the harmful baggage which is keeping you back. You will also learn how to create a new mindset free of negativity – and most of all see your true value as your self-esteem is restored.
The final stage.
The final stage of healing is being able to let go of the past and move forward with confidence. You will learn from your experience, and over time realise there was a reason for your life-changing experience.